Day care issues?
I was fortunate enough to take the first year of my boys’ lives off. I’m a teacher. I just gave up my job. My husband took a position in a school in Cairo and we went with him. This meant he was earning more than he would in the UK and we could afford to live off one wage for awhile. I know I was lucky. So so lucky. The first year with the boys was crucial for setting up good routines and a VERY strict schedule. Having two was tough. One would sleep, the other would be awake. And vice versa. This is the moment I realised I needed help. I did so much research my head was swimming in sleep. After a while, the boys were sleeping on the same schedule and through the night. Life was a breeze. Well as much as it can be with babies.
This was all down to being consistent and sticking to wake times. It did mean I’d have to run home after a play date for nap time. The girls would laugh at me for not allowing a nap in the pram as I knew they’d wake up when they got home, or one would wake and the other would sleep which would be annoying and make the day harder. But can you do this if you work? Is there a way around it?
Being a SAHM made life easier for us. It was convenient to be able to control all aspects of the boys’ day. But this was the best case scenario and we’re not all that lucky.
Having the first few months of your baby’s life off work would be ideal (again, not always possible). This is a crucial time to set up consistent routines that can then align with your day care situation.
When the time comes for your baby to go to day care it’s important you get as much info as possible about how they handle sleep. When is nap time? Do they use white noise? Is the room dark? How long will they allow them to sleep? Will they let them self soothe? All these questions are important. As is telling day care your routines and habits. Most day cares will, to some extent, follow your lead and listen to your needs as a parent.
When you’re faced with challenges regarding timing of naps, life can be tough. You’ll get home after a hard days work, you’re exhausted and so is your child! You may even begin to resent daycare nap timings and question whether it was worth going back to work in the first place. It can be a long and hard road, if your child who was sleeping for 2+ hours at home, starts daycare and their only sleeping 30-40min (if that).
There are a few things to consider…
Beg them! Go in, talk to the provider. Tell them what’s going on and how it’s impacting your lives. They are usually accomodating. My boys were allowed to nap with the younger class thankfully. And despite not sleeping as long as usual, they were at least getting an hour, which makes the world of difference for everyone’s sanity!
And if not, could you switch day-cares?
If they offer naps at a later or earlier time than you’d like. Change your DWT. It could mean waking them up slightly earlier for a longer wakewindow. Or, waking them later if the nap is too late for them. This is hard for families who have to be out of the house at a certain time, but if it’s at all possible. Give it a go. Waking them later may be tough, they may not reach that later hour for you for a while, but hang on in there, they’ll get there eventually.
Put them to bed early. As early as 5.30pm on some nights! This will help them make up for the loss of daytime sleep and also could help promote a later wake-up, for those of you trying to extend that morning.
If you’re sleep training at the same time as day-care…..
Most children will do OK with night training, despite naps being variable. Just remember to keep an eye on wake windows and adjust bedtime accordingly.
The moral of all of this: you (and your baby) CAN be successful at night with an inconsistent daily schedule. Choose a ST method that you can feel comfortable with and implement it whenever you are with your babies. If your caretaker is on board? Amazing. If not, be as consistent as possible and use early bedtimes to compensate for days of bad sleep at day care. And *most* importantly, know that while it may take longer for them to catch on due to the inconsistency from days to nights, you are doing the hard work now so that you can ALL be better rested and have more enjoyable time together, even if it’s shorter. This is JUST a phase, a short stage in the scheme of things and you are doing a great job balancing all of it!
If you need any support, as always I’m here. Book a call and we can talk about what’s going on with your sleep and make a plan to ultimately…get you some!
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