Baby Steps
Ever wondered how a sleep consultant works? Here is one way I approach sleep gently and through a holistic lens. Hopefully, it gives you the tools to make some changes yourself!
A Stepped Approach to Achieving Healthy Sleep Habits
When working with families, it's common for them to express their long-term goal of having their child peacefully and independently fall asleep in their cot. However, this goal may seem unattainable for families who are currently relying on rocking their child to sleep for every nap and bedtime. To make this journey more manageable and realistic, I advocate for a stepped approach, breaking down the process into smaller, achievable steps.
Step 1: Reframing Rocking as a Positive Strategy We start by acknowledging that rocking is currently the most reliable, quickest, and easiest way for the child to fall asleep. By reframing the perception of rocking as a positive aspect, we can optimize the timing of rocking sessions. Introducing a slightly higher sleep pressure can help speed up sleep onset, which can be a logical and freeing concept for families feeling overwhelmed by multiple changes.
Step 2: Incorporating the Sleeping Environment In this step, we continue rocking the child to sleep but within the child's sleeping space, such as their bedroom or your bedroom. By making the environment a part of the process, we create a connection between the sleep routine and the sleeping space.
Step 3: Gradually Reducing Parental Intervention Building on the previous steps, we focus on maintaining optimal timing while gradually decreasing the level of parental intervention. For instance, instead of fully rocking the child to sleep, we might transition to rocking until they are calm or briefly rocking before holding them still. We can also introduce the concept of rocking until the child is drowsy and then placing them gently in their cot. Additional calming strategies, such as shushing or patting, may be necessary once the child is in their cot. This step can be challenging as it requires transitioning from falling asleep in the arms to falling asleep in the cot. If this proves difficult or results in waking, lying down next to the child can provide support without the need for a tricky transfer. It's important to provide families with various options, as different approaches work better for different families depending on their child's preferences and needs.
Final Step: Independent Sleep in the Right Place and Time In the last step, the child is sleeping in the desired location at the optimal time, with significantly reduced parental intervention. The gradual weaning of parental involvement will depend on factors such as the child's age, context, and parental preference. Throughout the process, we continue to prioritize a close, loving response and attachment. When children feel safe and relaxed, they are more likely to settle into sleep. While these activities may not directly promote sleep, it's important to note that a stressed child or one who senses stress will find it difficult to calm down and sleep. Stress is counterproductive to achieving restful sleep.
By implementing this stepped approach, families can progress toward their long-term sleep goals in manageable increments. Remember, every child is unique, and families know their children best. Providing options and flexibility allows families to tailor the approach to suit their child's individual needs. With a nurturing and supportive approach, we can help families achieve healthier sleep habits and create a peaceful sleep environment for their little ones.
If you need any support, as always I’m here. Book a call and we can talk about what’s going on with your sleep and make a plan to ultimately…get you some!