Separation Anxiety
Understanding Separation Anxiety in Toddlers
Is it common for toddlers to experience separation anxiety? Some parents may notice that their child experiences night-time separation anxiety again between the ages of 18 months and 2 years old.
Mine have actually only recently displayed signs of this. But they’ve always been behind ‘the norm’.
This can be referred to as sleep regression, which can be frustrating for parents when they see separation anxiety resurface. However, separation anxiety in toddlers is completely normal.
It’s a common challenge many parents face as their toddlers begin to explore their independence. It can be heart-wrenching to witness tearful goodbyes or clingy moments, but rest assured, you're not alone.
Toddlers between the ages of 1 and 2 understand that they are a separate individual from their parent but may not yet comprehend that their parent will return if they leave.
Understanding the root causes of separation anxiety
Separation anxiety stems from your toddler's growing awareness of their dependence on you and their developing sense of object permanence. They may fear that you'll disappear and not return. By understanding these underlying factors, you can respond empathetically, validating their emotions and providing reassurance.
Proven techniques to make goodbyes smoother
Effective techniques for smoother goodbyes include creating a consistent routine, maintaining a positive and confident demeanour, offering a transitional object or comfort item, and providing clear and age-appropriate explanations about your departure and return. These strategies help your child feel more secure and lessen the anxiety associated with separation.
Building a strong sense of security and trust
Establishing a secure attachment is crucial in reducing separation anxiety. Spend quality time engaging in activities that foster a strong bond, such as reading together, cuddling, or playing games. Respond promptly and consistently to your child's needs, ensuring they feel valued, loved, and safe in your presence. This foundation of trust will help alleviate anxiety during separations.
Fun activities that promote independence
Encouraging independence is vital for your toddler's development and confidence. Engage in age-appropriate activities that allow them to explore their abilities, such as simple chores, self-care routines, or problem-solving games. By providing opportunities for independence, you empower your child, boosting their self-esteem and reducing separation anxiety.
If your toddler is having trouble falling asleep due to separation anxiety, some people might recommend a later bedtime. I don’t. I stand by the theory that sleep begets sleep, and whenever someone suggests putting a baby to bed later in the hopes that they’ll be tired enough to fall asleep, I outwardly cringe.
Encouraging exercise during the day and limiting screen time before bed can help tire a child out and make that sleep need optimal, but really, as long as you follow your recommended wake time, your child will be ready for bed, regardless.
There are a lot of top tips out there for dealing with an anxious child. These include using white noise, playing calming sounds, moving the child's cot, and waiting outside the child's door for reassurance. Remember, while it can be tough, separation anxiety is just a normal part of a toddler's development and will pass with time. If your child is genuinely anxious, go to them! They need to be reassured. You don’t have to stay all night and this phase will pass. Make sure they know that when they really need you, you’re there.
If your child is having difficulty falling asleep at bedtime because of this, tell them they’re loved, that you’re not far away. Go back to check on them in short intervals and let them know you’re doing this. Often a child can relax knowing you’ll be back in 5 minutes.
Be calm, don’t stress and know that they will fall asleep independently again, it may just take some time and reassurance.
Conquering toddler separation anxiety is a journey that requires patience, empathy, and proactive strategies. Remember, each child is unique, so adapt these strategies to suit your little one's individual needs. Embrace the joys of their growth and celebrate the milestones achieved along the way.
You’ve got this. If you need any support. Sign up for a FREE sleep assessment. Let’s get your kiddo sleeping again!
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Together, we can conquer toddler separation anxiety and create a nurturing environment for our little ones to thrive.